I recently came across a fascinating idea called the Relationship Recession on the The Economist YouTube channel. One data point captures it more powerfully than any theory could. There are now well over a hundred million more single people than there would have been if coupling patterns had stayed where they were in 2017.
The video outlines several structural reasons for this shift. What I want to unpack instead is the behavioural lens underneath those reasons.
Starting with compatibility between men and women today, what stands out is how strongly we gravitate toward people who feel like us. Compatibility is often judged through shared attitudes, background, and life trajectory. As women’s education levels have risen sharply over the last decade, many are now looking for partners who feel equally or more accomplished. The result is not ideology but arithmetic. The pool of perceived compatible matches narrows dramatically.
Another reality is the preference for staying with what already works. Many women choose to focus on their careers rather than step into committed relationships where domestic responsibility is expected to tilt unevenly. The logic is simple. Why disrupt a stable path when independence already delivers control, security, and momentum. Avoiding a potential downside feels wiser than chasing a hypothetical upside.
Dating apps amplify this pattern. The video highlights how height has become a dominant filter, with most women rejecting men below a certain threshold. That single visible trait is allowed to stand in for confidence, attractiveness, and future potential. Alongside this sits something else. Each rejection creates a feeling of agency. Swiping becomes a way to feel in control of life choices, even if the pool is shrinking with every filter applied.
From the other side, men increasingly feel excluded. There is a growing sense of being judged against fixed standards, and of being collectively dismissed. In some cases, this slides into resentment, as expectations feel less negotiable and more absolute.
In the end, singlehood rises on both sides. Men and women begin to justify the direction they are already moving in. Staying single is reframed as a conscious preference rather than a constrained outcome. Every story about a marriage failing or a relationship breaking down then reinforces the belief that opting out was the right call all along.
Hope this helps move the conversation from what works to why it works.